Well, you'll be happy to know that God and I are on good terms again. ;-)
Honestly, I've been struggling a lot these last few days, but I woke up ... not sure which morning, might have been Friday ... just ready to give it back over to Him, tired of being so negative and ungrateful feeling. I wish I could tell you I bounced right back to SuperChristian Stacy (like I've ever been that), but even though my attitude was better, it still took a couple of days. I had a mini faith-crisis last night, but it was actually kind-of a good thing because it ended up resolving when God reminded me of several very special times in the past when He has shown me CLEARLY that He IS, that He loves me, and that the whole Christianity thing is THE REAL DEAL. I always feel so wretched for even having one micron (or whatever is really small) of doubt, but this world these days! It just shouts "there is no God!" at us and hammers us sometimes until, if we take our eyes of Jesus for a half a second, we start going, "Wow, this stuff really is kinda incredible." So last night I was doing the "God, I believe; help Thou my unbelief!" prayer and He sure did! I can't refute the things He has shown me in the past. I just wish I would get another one soon, but I'm grateful for those! Very, very grateful.
I wish I could explain them to you, but they're not easy to put into words. Glimpses of heaven (a feeling really, of the most intense love I've ever felt, just for a second -- I think because He knew more than that would have utterly overwhelmed me in my tiny humanness ... and besides, I was driving); images of His love pouring over my head like rose petals; very, very brief glimpses of His amazing glory. And other things I just can't put words to at all. But they touched those places in my heart and soul that connect with God, the very, very most intimate places of the soul where God lets His children know He is there and He loves us. Sounds really weird and mystical (maybe it is, if looking at it from a human standpoint), but all I know is, it's real. And I'm NOT one of "those" kinds of people.
So, tonight I go to bed secure in the knowledge that God exists, that there is a Heaven and a Hell, that Jesus Christ is the only road to salvation, and that because He died for me and I have accepted His sacrifice and the Truth of Who He is into my heart and soul, I will one day join Him in Heaven. Rock solid, no doubts. The way my heart and soul really know it is if I'll just stop listening to the Enemy and get my eyes back on my Savior.
BTW, I know that I and my family are definitely targets of spiritual warfare -- I guess all Christians are. But it seems like the last few years have been just crazy with it. So if you're inclined to pray for us against the Enemy and his armies, I wouldn't turn you down!